My Story - The Why

1 year ago I sat crying in my living room whilst cuddling my baby son hoping the tears would dry before my wife walked back in the room.

My mental health hit rock bottom. I could see no way out. I was clinically obese, I smoked, I was unhealthy, I felt like I stood out in every crowd, all eyes were on me.

Cuddling my son, I wanted to reassure him I would be there for him for years and years. That was a promise I knew in that moment I couldn’t make. I didn’t know if I could make that promise for the next day. That realisation almost killed me. Almost.

Instead, through that broken promise and the curtains of tears I found the motivation to try and change my life so I could fulfill my promise to my children and the promise I made to my wife that we will always travel and see the world together into old age. I decided to give my all to a challenge that I always deemed impossible. Something I thought no way someone like me, clinically obese, smoker, someone who always made the wrong lifestyle decisions could achieve.

I signed up for the London Marathon. After 9 months of training and a complete lifestyle shift, I finished the London Marathon, smiling the whole way round as I ran away from who I used to be and towards who I wanted to be. That version of me was standing at the finish line, I just had to make it there. Everything I had worked for, cried for, every new promise made came down to this. The culmination of the barriers I have shattered over the last week all into this one race.

In truth, it’s much more than that one race for me, it’s everything about my lifestyle and mindset that I continue to work on everyday. Some days I win the battle, some I lose a battle. But I will win the war.

Mental health challenges are the real deal. The real deal. I fought my battle (and still am) whilst holding down my job where I lead a large globally distributed team, starting a newsletter, having two kids, being a husband, growing my online audience to nearly 50,000, speaking at live events, starting a free mentorship program, creating online courses, starting live events for mental health, and rekindling with close family. No one sees those long nights running through the dark winter, those 4am summer runs to escape the heat. No one can see your motivation in the moment. Only you know the limit of your resilience, I promise you, it’s not here yet.

To everyone who is going through some crap right now, anything. Tomorrow can be a better day. If tomorrow can be good, imagine how great next week is going to be. Reach out and talk to someone.

I wanted a way to try and help others that may be feeling any type of way. This was the birth of ‘Crying on the Sofa’ and the live events series.